this time i have nothing left to lose, i'm stuck the second hand won't move

"Sometimes that's just life though, don't you think? Sometimes the crappiest things happen at the most unexpected times and you just have to take it for what it's worth and realize that its not the end, that there is always the tiniest hole you can crawl through to get yourself out"

everything is falling apart.

my whole group of friends,

and

school is being a fucking bitch.

my. life.

just what the fuck? really? may isn't my month. at least not this year...

i don't know what to do anymore, because i'm not sure if there is much more that i can do.

my friends situation:

i've tried all i could to help, but nothing i do seems to work. and it just keeps getting worse, at least, that's what it seems like to me. there's so much going on right now, that i feel like i'm in too deep. i can't get myself out of this.

i can't take sides, none of that. i want to be there for all of them. i've tried everything. but one can only do so much. i feel like i can't help anymore, and therefore, the rest is up to them. the situation spun out of control and i'm just not sure what i'm supposed to do now. but i do know that i can't just abandon them.

i care for them all, and all i want is for each one of them to be happy.

when one person falls apart, we all go down together.

they're like family to me, and i love them all to death.

i can't stand to see them like this, i've never seen them more upset and unhappy..

but i don't know what more could i do.

i just don't know what to do.....

to put it simply, again, i'm just confused about everything. but shouldn't i be used to confusion by now? i mean, that's basically been what my entire life has consisted of the past few months, confusion, confusion, and more confusion.

confusion sums it all up.

i don't know what i'm doing anymore.

my priorities are all wrong.

everything is just so wrong.

i need to get my shit together, and i need to fast.

but most importantly,

i need to somehow figure out how to help my best friends, because the last thing i want to do is lose them.

i've dealt with a lot of tough shit the past few months, but they changed my outlook on life basically & made everything tolerable, more positive, and i honestly don't know what i'd do without them.

i hope this situation can somehow be fixed:/

and soon...

well, i'm crossing my fingers & hoping for the best.

♡ -Camille